Category: Neurodivergence

The Sensory Delight of Flow Head Spa in Cornelius, NC

December 24, 2025

Neurodivergence, not sponsored, Spa, Spa Spotlight, Spotlight, Wellness
Have you ever had an incredible shampoo during your hair appointment and asked, “Why isn’t this offered as a standalone service?” Flow Head Spa in Cornelius, North Carolina heard you and upped the ante.

They’ve taken that universally loved moment and elevated it into a thoughtfully designed luxury, sensory-rich service that feels innovative, deeply relaxing, and nervous-system aware, perfect for a neurodivergent guest like myself. As a spa therapist of nearly twenty years, I find it challenging to find unique service offerings, so I had very much been looking forward to enjoying this original head spa experience.

Before I Even Arrived: Website, Booking & First Impressions

As is common with neurodivergence, I prefer to avoid having to speak to other human beings on the phone unless absolutely necessary, so I prefer a website experience that allows me as much autonomy as possible. Flow Head Spa’s website was clean, intuitive, and easy to navigate. As someone who gets overwhelmed by visual clutter and vague descriptions, I appreciated how clearly everything was laid out. The service descriptions were succinctly written, detailed without being too wordy, and gave me a strong sense of what service to choose. I also appreciated how transparent they are about which services include the full spa experience that includes a robe and slippers, versus which services are strictly the hands-on service, as I prefer to know what to expect prior to a first-time experience.

And while the photos on the website are lovely, their Instagram is where the real magic shows. The videos capture the sudsing, slow rhythmic massage, warm pours, and subtle ASMR energy, everything that makes a head spa such a sensory-rich experience. I got to imagine what my own appointment would be like ahead of time, easing my anxiety of the unknown, as well as build my excitement for what was to come.

What stood out most, though, was their thoughtfulness and inclusivity. During booking, they specifically ask whether you have curly hair, locs, braids, weaves, extensions, etc., not to exclude anyone, but to ensure your hair is treated with the respect it deserves. Not all add-ins are serviceable in a head spa setting, and instead of leaving clients confused or embarrassed, Flow Head Spa communicates everything clearly, gently, and respectfully. Even their social media devotes sections to showcasing both curly and coily hair being treated, which was nice to see as a 3B curly girl myself.

Another small but meaningful moment happened before I even stepped foot in the spa. My mom, who purchased my Flow Head Spa gift card for Christmas (thanks, mom!), called to arrange it and initially didn’t reach anyone. To her surprise and delight, she received a call back just a few minutes later.

As a neurodivergent person who often has to muster a significant amount of energy to make a simple phone call, only to be met with voicemail or no answer, this small detail left an impression on me. Had it been me and they hadn’t called back, it likely would’ve taken me at least a week to work up the energy to attempt again. That simple act of promptly returning the call felt incredibly considerate, human, and accessible; a small gesture with a big impact.

A Special Gift for the Holidays

To celebrate the holiday season this year, Flow Head Spa offered a special gift with the purchase of a gift card: a physical gift card and a silicone head massager presented in a lovely gift bag. I enjoyed this detail, as I got to give myself a little taste of the treatment ahead of time with one of the actual tools they use in-service. I went to pick up my gift about a week before my scheduled appointment (again, I take any opportunity I can to familiarize myself ahead of time), and I thought this was a really nice touch.

Arriving at the Spa: A Sensory Exhale

On the day of my appointment, I arrived nearly 45 minutes early and was warmly welcomed with a tour of the facilities, which allowed me to orient myself and settle in without feeling rushed. Despite arriving so early, I never felt like I was waiting an eternity to begin; everything unfolded calmly and right on time. I gave myself ample time to change into the spa wrap, robe, and slippers that were placed in my personally-appointed locker.

The details that went into my experience were thoughtful: from the personalization of my locker, to the inclusion of a jewelry dish within the locker, having a spa wrap available (versus being next to nude under my robe), and the correct size of cushy spa slides based on my intake form, I felt like major care was put into the overall experience that many spas can tend to overlook.

“Self care looks stunning on you!”

These all may seem like trivial things, but they really do matter and serve to elevate and extend the experience to before, during, and after the actual service itself.

A Cozy Ambiance

The space itself feels earthy and spa-industrial, yet still very warm and intimate. Ambient music played softly, layered with the gentle sound of a bubbling stream that invited calm, as well as served to dampen additional noise. The comfortable loungers in the waiting area were partitioned with gossamer curtains that offered enough privacy to feel cozy, but not isolating. The array of textures in the space nicely balanced each other out with the fluid lines of the seating, velvety drapery in place of doors, and curved archways, softening the more industrial elements such as the concrete floors and exposed ductwork above.

There were two other guests finishing their services, yet the space never felt crowded or overstimulating.

Even the restroom stood out: impeccably maintained, aesthetically pleasing, softly scented with a Doterra essential oil diffuser, and stocked with a basket of neatly folded hand towels resting on the sink. More small details, quietly executed, that communicated care and thoughtfulness.

I opted for a glass of prosecco alongside a personal charcuterie board (purchased as an add-on during booking), which turned out to be an incredibly grounding pre-treatment ritual. The board contained a flavorful assortment of cheeses, crackers, dried apricots, gherkins, and a pretty salami rose. A wonderful start to my service.

The Ebb & Flow (90 Minutes)

Promptly at my appointment start time, I was warmly greeted by my therapist and escorted to our designated treatment room. Although the rooms are separated by curtains rather than doors, ours felt quiet and private, tucked away in the far back corner of the spa. The service began with a scalp assessment, where I could see my follicles magnified on a screen in front of me. It was fascinating to see my scalp up close, and I was thankful I double-cleansed my hair the day before with a clarifying shampoo!

My therapist then walked me through how to position my body on the bed, which I appreciated, as this experience is a bit different than a traditional massage. The bed itself was essentially a redesigned massage table, but where the face cradle would normally be was a sink that softly shifted through rainbow colored lighting.

After I was settled under the covers, she came back in and offered me a weighted blanket and placed a bolster under my knees that created a near zero-gravity feeling. While I would’ve enjoyed a heavier weighted blanket, these accommodations made a big difference in my comfort level as a sensory-sensitive person.

The treatment itself began slowly and intentionally with an aromatherapy breathing ritual, which set the soothing tone for the remainder of the treatment. My therapist then began gently rinsing warm water on my scalp, the temperature carefully adjusted and checked in with me before settling into a steady rhythm. The massages (yes, plural) were exceptionally relaxing, striking a wonderful balance between firm pressure and feather-light touch.

Sensory Journey

As a person with AuDHD, I prefer experiencing different sensations; it creates both an exciting and soothing feeling at the same time. I very thoroughly enjoyed the use of various tools my therapist used to stimulate my scalp, in addition to her hands. The combined use of the water halo and the head scratcher sent literal shivers down my spine!

What I also liked was the alternating hot temperature of the water and cooler temperature of the products. Could the products have been warmed prior to application? Yes. Did I necessarily want them to be? No. The temperature difference made for a soothing, yet stimulating experience for me.

Additionally, I think it’s worth mentioning that my therapist never once got water in my ears. That is always a sensory nightmare for me whenever it occurs during a typical hairstyling appointment. The greatest challenge being neurodiverse within the spa context is not achieving the state of relaxation, but maintaining the state of relaxation; my ease and comfort never wavered during my time at Flow Head Spa.

The Ebb & Flow included:
- A thorough scalp analysis
- A grounding aromatherapy ritual
- Double cleanse, exfoliation, and a nourishing scalp mask
- Slow scalp, neck, and shoulder massage
- Shirodhara slow oil pour on the forehead
- Variety of sensory tools used on the scalp, including the halo water ring
- Hot towel cleansing rituals for the feet and neck
- A hand and arm massage, and foot massage
- Rhythmic movements that felt deeply regulating
- An optional rough dry and light styling at the end
- The full spa experience: robe, slippers, quiet lounge access, and an unhurried pace.
I drifted into that rare in-between state where time seems to stand still: fully present, yet deeply relaxed.

Customization & À La Carte Options

I learned from my therapist that guests can build their own treatment by picking and choosing from Flow Head Spa’s à la carte offerings. She also shared that Ebb & Flow is one of their most popular services, particularly for first-time clients.

That made perfect sense. The Ebb & Flow offers a comprehensive introduction to what they have to offer in a single service so you can discover what your body responds to best.

While I genuinely loved every part of the Ebb & Flo, I also left with a sense of curiosity. There were moments I found myself wishing certain elements could go on a bit longer, and other offerings I would have loved to experience but didn’t this time.

Two that stood out for future visits:

The Graze & Flo, which is their back scratching experience, which I imagine would be an incredible sensory experience;

The Hair Flo, which is their dry hair treatment focused specifically on hair play, something many neurodivergent folks (including myself) find exceptionally soothing.

Knowing I can customize future visits based on my preferences makes returning feel exciting rather than repetitive.

Closing the Experience

As the treatment ended, there was no abrupt return to reality. The lights remained soft, and I was given time to re-orient before sitting up and relocating myself back into the hair styling chair from my earlier scalp assessment. My therapist returned to offer me an optional rough dry, which I declined, and she applied their organic styling products to my hair to maintain my scalp health. We had a lovely conversation and I didn’t feel rushed or pressured to leave, maintaining the feeling of ease and serenity.

I walked out feeling not just pampered, but regulated.

Final Thoughts

Flow Head Spa delivered one of the most grounding and unique spa experiences I’ve ever had. From the thoughtful booking process (right down to returning a missed phone call), to the sensory-safe environment, the Ebb & Flow service itself, customization options, charcuterie board, and gentle presence of the staff, everything felt intentional, personalized, and soothing.

It’s challenging to stand out in the beauty world without slipping into gimmicks, yet Flow Head Spa accomplishes this effortlessly.

Would I return? Absolutely and without hesitation.

This is exactly the kind of experience that honors sensitive nervous systems, overstimulated minds, and anyone craving spaciousness, warmth, and slow, intentional care.

Flow Head Spa is a sensory delight, and one I will absolutely revisit.

PRO-TIP:

Flow Head Spa offers mid-week specials on their services.

It is customary to tip your spa therapist 18-20% of the original service price, not the discounted rate.

Book Now
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Navigating Grief After a Late Diagnosis

November 19, 2025

Healing, Neurodivergence

A late autism diagnosis can bring relief while also uncovering grief and anger about the years you went misunderstood and unsupported. These emotions are a natural part of healing as you finally learn to honor how your brain truly works.

When people talk about receiving a late autism diagnosis, they often focus on the relief that comes with finally having a name for the experiences that once felt confusing and isolating. And yes, there can be a deep and beautiful exhale in understanding yourself more clearly than ever before, yet many of us are also met with a slowly rising ache, a grief that begins to surface from every year spent trying to be someone we never were. There can also be anger that quietly bubbles up and simmers as we realize how long it took to be recognized.

My Own Personal Grief

When I got the results from my assessment, the answers arrived all at once: Autism Level 1. ADHD. Dyscalculia. A full learning disability that had been invisible to everyone who was supposed to guide me; Not a single teacher, math tutor, counselor, or even a parent recognized what was happening. I excelled in nearly every subject, but the moment numbers were involved, everything changed. Because that one area of struggle was misunderstood, I spent years believing I might actually not be all that smart. Being placed in remedial math while thriving in other subjects created a quiet fracture inside me, a wounding sense that I was somehow both capable and incapable at the same time.

Nobody explained why my brain worked differently. Instead, I was told to try harder, to pay attention, to sit still, to be more responsible and consistent. The world did not understand my needs, so I learned to hide them. I learned to mask early and thoroughly, ignoring sensory discomfort, mimicking behavior that helped me blend in, pushing myself until I reached exhaustion, and then collapsing privately when no one was watching. I contorted myself like a pretzel just to be accepted. I became an expert in pretending, while aching to be authentic.

The Anger and the Ache

When a diagnosis arrives in adulthood, the pieces of your story begin to click together. Yet those moments of clarity often come with emotional weight. There is grief for the younger version of yourself who struggled without guidance or compassion. There is grief for the opportunities and confidence that might have felt different with the right support. There can also be a very human ache when you look at younger generations who are being identified earlier. You might watch children and teens receive accommodations and validation that you never had access to. They are celebrated for traits you were criticized for. You can feel a soft sting of envy, not because you wish anything less for them, but because it reminds you of what you needed so deeply and never received. This too is a form of grief, a recognition of the childhood you should have had.

And then there is the anger.

Anger that you slipped through the cracks of a system that should have caught you. Anger that you had to bend yourself into shapes that were never natural just to be allowed to exist in peace. Anger that you were expected to perform normalcy instead of being allowed to simply be. That anger does not make you ungrateful or dramatic. It speaks to how fiercely you fought to survive while yearning for understanding.

Coming into this understanding reminded me of watching Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein (brilliant, by the way) and crying like a baby. The monster’s longing to be understood, his deep need for connection and kindness, and the way he was judged by those who never cared to know him, struck something so tender in me. His quiet ache felt familiar. The grace he deserved but rarely received reflected a truth I had carried for years without words. Sometimes it takes a story outside ourselves to reveal the depth of our own. His narrative helped me recognize that my feelings are not strange or dramatic. They are the echoes of a lifetime spent trying to belong.

Rewriting Your Story

These emotions often show up in the body long before the mind can articulate them. Many late-identified autistic women discover that once they stop forcing themselves to keep up appearances, years of physical tension begin to surface. Fatigue, muscle tightness, headaches, stomach discomfort, and a general sense of collapse can appear as the nervous system finally recognizes that it does not have to fight every moment just to exist. A spa can become a sanctuary during this stage of healing, not as a luxury escape, but as a place where the body can soften into a slower rhythm. Gentle touch, warm temperatures, and sensory soothing environments help the nervous system understand that safety is present now and that it can release some of the vigilance it has held for so long.

A diagnosis does not change who you are, but offers language for the person you have always been. Instead of believing that you lacked discipline or intelligence, you now see a brain that navigates the world in a unique way and one that deserved appropriate care. You begin to understand why certain environments exhausted you, why rest was essential rather than indulgent, and why you often needed support that others never considered. Slowly, you start to rewrite the story from one of quiet self-doubt to one of deeper self-recognition.

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Kindness in Action: Care Packages for Those in Need

October 3, 2025

Healing, Neurodivergence, Wellness

Lately, I’ve been feeling a pull to do something simple yet meaningful for people in my community who don’t have a place to call home. Times are hard for everyone right now, and most Americans are only one paycheck away from finding themselves in a situation they never imagined. It’s humbling to think about how quickly life circumstances can change, and how easily it could be any of us.

That’s why, in honor of my birthday today, I put together twelve care packages to give to people I encounter who are experiencing homelessness. They’re filled with basics like snacks, toiletries, a few articles of clothing, and water, but more than anything, I hope they carry a little bit of dignity and humanity. Because homeless people are still people. Oftentimes it is circumstances and not character that lead people to these places in life.

A History of Giving

When I lived and worked in New York City, I made it a point to help however I could. At that time, when my financial situation was different, I routinely spent around $100 each month on gift cards that I’d hand out to the homeless people I met along my route. It was a small gesture, but one that allowed me to give in a consistent way. My financial reality has changed dramatically since then, and I’m no longer able to give consistently at that level, but I still believe in doing what I can, whenever and however I can. These care packages are my way of continuing that commitment. My family and I found ourselves in a very precarious financial position recently and have only just been able to get ourselves back on track, so this is my way of showing thanks for the grace we ourselves received during that dark time.

Autism and Compassion

As an autistic person, I think a lot about fairness, justice, and compassion. Research has shown that autistic people are often just as altruistic as anyone else, sometimes even more so. Many of us are guided by deeply held values rather than social expectations, and for me, that rings true. When I see someone suffering, it doesn’t feel like an abstract idea: it’s immediate, it’s real, and it calls me to action.

This isn’t about being a savior or doing something “big” for attention or clout. It’s about doing what I can, where I am, with what I have. It’s about remembering that kindness and generosity matter, especially in times like these, when the world feels heavy, dark, and hopeless.

How You Can Help

So if you ever wonder whether small acts make a difference, I want you to know they do. Even something as simple as handing someone a care package, making eye contact (though it may be hard), and saying, “I see you, and you matter” can ripple farther than we realize.

If you share my vision and my mission, and you feel so inclined, please consider purchasing items from my Amazon Wishlist. They are all items that go directly to assembling care kits like the one above.

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When Literal Thinking Meets Massage: Navigating Red Flags in Sketchy Establishments

August 12, 2025

Neurodivergence, Spa, Uncategorized

Literal thinking may make some social cues harder to interpret, but clear signs of sketchy massage places and behaviors are real and important to recognize. Stay informed, listen to your gut, and always prioritize your safety and well-being. You deserve that care, without compromise.

The Double-Edged Sword

If you’re autistic like me, you might already know how literal thinking can shape the way we see and experience the world. For many of us, sarcasm, innuendo, and indirect social cues don’t always register the way they do for neurotypical folks. We tend to take things at face value, which is a wonderful clarity in many situations, but it can also leave us vulnerable in places where reading between the lines is key.

Take, for example, visiting a massage establishment. On the surface, it seems straightforward: you get a massage to relax and care for your body. But sometimes, subtle signs and “red flags” might be overlooked because they’re not spoken outright or are hidden in layers of implied meaning. When sarcasm or suggestive language is used, or when social cues are indirect, literal thinking can make it hard to recognize when something feels “off.”

I want to share some practical signs that can help you identify if a massage place might not be what it seems because sometimes, sketchy establishments use subtle signals that don’t always feel like clear danger bells. And while this is true for anyone, I know from experience that it’s extra important for those of us who process the world more literally.

Red and Yellow Flags to Watch For:

Open 24 hours or offer very late-night appointments (often a sketchy indicator);

Cash only payments (yellow flag, not always bad, but suspicious);

Sexually suggestive language in marketing materials;

Female clients are generally turned away, or appointments for female clients are nearly impossible to get;

Windows are completely blacked out (yellow flag, as in some sunny places like Arizona or Florida this might just be for temperature control);

No or very limited online reviews, especially no female client reviews, or no website at all;

Female staff dressed in overly suggestive clothing;

The place calls itself a “massage parlor” and staff are called “masseuses” (which can sometimes be a red flag. The proper term is “massage therapist”);

The establishment is not licensed (yellow flag, always check!);

The place looks dirty or unkempt (yellow flag for sketchiness, red flag for overall experience);

Front desk or management is avoidant, rude, or gets defensive when asked questions;

Staff is advertised mainly based on their looks or physical attributes;

Towels are used for draping instead of proper sheets;

Draping is inappropriate or inadequate (your private areas should never be exposed);

Any form of sexual assault during the massage;

Staff offering “extra services” during the massage session;

Staff with limited English skills in ways that feel suspicious or combined with other red flags (yellow flag);

The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

Unfortunately, even some high-end places can sometimes have staff or individuals who behave inappropriately. So it’s also important to recognize red flags at the therapist level during your session:

Commenting repeatedly on your body in ways that feel uncomfortable;

Improper draping exposing genitals, breasts, or buttocks;

Therapist resting or rubbing their groin or breasts against your body;

Repeatedly touching sensitive areas like your butt crack, anus, breasts, or genitals without consent;

Performing gluteal or pectoral massage without asking permission first (it’s okay if asked, but always with proper draping);

Ignoring your requests to avoid certain areas;

Positioning your body to graze or touch their private areas inappropriately;

Grinding or humping motions against the massage table or your body;

Any form of sexual assault such as kissing, groping, or penetration;

Therapist straddling or climbing on top of you (yellow flag; in certain types of massage like Ashiatsu barefoot massage, the therapist uses their feet to massage you);

Removing your undergarments without permission;

Therapist contacting you privately after your session (yellow flag, as some entrepreneuer therapists do not rely on support staff to do this. Otherwise this should be done professionally via the business)

The Importance of Trusting Your Gut

I speak from personal experience when I say this can be deeply unsettling. I once worked with a colleague who was later charged with sexual assault on a client, someone I never would have suspected. Another had troubling reviews from a previous job about inappropriate behavior. It shook me to my core.

If you ever feel uneasy or suspect sexual impropriety during or after a session, please trust your instincts. You deserve to be safe and respected. Don’t hesitate to report the incident to the establishment, the licensing board, and the police. If it happened to you, chances are it has happened to others, and only action will help protect future clients.

Your comfort and safety matter. And while literal thinking can sometimes make social puzzles harder to navigate, you can still protect yourself by knowing what to look for and listening to your inner voice.

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The Language of Touch: How I Found My Calling in the Spa

July 27, 2025

Healing, Neurodivergence, Spa, Wellness

When I discovered the spa world, something clicked. Here was an entire environment dedicated to gentle lighting, calming smells, soft voices, predictable routines, and safe, intentional touch. It felt like I could really thrive.

But not all touch feels safe.

A little fact about me is I absolutely hate shaking people’s hands. I find it to be like the physical equivalent of small talk: awkward, unnecessary, and deeply uncomfortable. What’s worse is how much weight society places on this strange little ritual. People make snap judgments about your character, your confidence, even your worth based entirely on the firmness, moisture level, and duration of your handshake.

For the record? I have what they call a “princess handshake.” That’s when you extend your hand like you’re expecting it to be kissed (delicate, palm slightly down) and the other person ends up just shaking your four fingers instead of grasping your full hand. It’s light, unassertive by traditional standards, and oh yes, deeply judged in the professional world.

Fitting, though, since my name is Sara, which is derived from the Hebrew word for “princess.”

It used to make me feel self-conscious, like I had failed some unspoken test of professionalism. Now, I see it differently. I wasn’t weak, I was simply trying to protect my nervous system.

I can massage the entire naked body of a stranger with loving intention, but Lord, help me, don’t make me shake hands.

The Importance of Intentional Touch

For me, it’s about the energy exchange. I describe myself as an empath, meaning I’m deeply sensitive to other people’s emotions and often absorb them as my own. That absorption happens most intensely through physical touch. Preserving opportunities for intentional touch is one of the energetic boundaries I’ve had to build in adulthood.

If you’re familiar with Rogue from the Marvel Universe, you’ll understand. Her powers include absorbing the abilities and energy of others through skin-to-skin contact. She wears gloves not to isolate herself, but to protect her energy until she chooses to connect. That’s exactly what intentional touch means to me: consensual, conscious, and energetically safe; touch must be chosen and expected.

Touch doesn’t just soothe. It speaks. It regulates. It reminds us that we are allowed to feel safe in our bodies. And for those of us who’ve spent years feeling “too much” or “not enough,” this can be the beginning of profound healing.

Touch Became My Translator

There was a time where I didn’t have the right words and I could feel everything: emotions, tension, the energy in a room, even the unspoken things people carried in their eyes or shoulders. But when it came to explaining my needs, expressing my overwhelm, or asking for gentleness, the words would crumble before they reached my lips.

Touch became my translator.

In those quiet, sacred spaces: the hush of a massage room, the warmth of a heated towel, the rhythmic pressure of strong hands, I learned to speak and be spoken to in a language I had always understood.

Touch is a language I became fluent in, especially when words would often fail.

Finding My Calling

I didn’t always know I was neurodivergent. I just knew I moved through the world a little differently; more attuned, more easily overstimulated, more exhausted from trying to be normal in places that didn’t feel safe. Like many late-diagnosed women, I had become a master of masking. Smiling through discomfort, shrinking my needs, and holding my breath emotionally, just to belong.

But the spa was different.

It was the first place I felt I could exhale, where the lights were soft, the instructions were clear, and my sensitivity wasn’t a liability, but a gift.

What began as a sanctuary for my nervous system became a mirror for my truth. I realized I didn’t just want to receive care, I wanted to create it. To provide an opportunity where others could drop the mask, soften the armor, and feel for the first time that their body was a safe place to live in.

The spa was my calling. Not just because of the treatments or the ambiance, but because it offered a way to communicate with fewer words, to hold space without judgment, and to translate feeling into healing. It was a way for people to finally see me and understand my intentions.

For those of us who live loud inner lives behind quiet exteriors, touch speaks what words often cannot. And in that language, I found my true home.

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